Dragonfly
There's a 25 Things MeMe (meme? Meme?) going around on Facebook and since I sort-of loathe all things Facebook (and MySpace, these days) I'm going to do it here.

Digression -- Yes! I Do realize that obvously I don't loathe them enough to not be on them. I didn't loathe them when I signed up. Well I did loathe The Facebook but I was coerced into that one (Cuz Denise!). Anyhow. I'm just too lazy to take it all down now. And... And fine, what if someone out there is looking for me and thinks, "Oh! I'll try Facebook" -- only they look the day AFTER I take it all down and then can't ever find me? I don't want to be responsible for that.

So, twenty-five things. This was HARD y'all! Because blogging is pretty much chock-full-o-self-interest-naval-gazing-and-belly-lint-picking... so finding twenty-five things you might not already know? Torturous.

1) My current ring tone on my cell is the dirty, grungy beginning notes of Led Zeppelin's Whole Lotta Love. It soothes the bad girl inside me. And I find the sound sexy. Which makes it yummy. Because, apparently, I live with sex on the brain.

2) On Christmas Day, I dropped my weeks-old cell phone into an open glass of iced sweet tea while we were driving to my Mom's. Though I saved it (mostly, the screen still shows water spots and the texting keyboard crunches when I type) I blamed the whole thing on Mr. Clean having an open beverage in the car and told him that's why I NEVER drive with open drink containers. I LIED. I drive around with open beverages all the time. And I drop my phone in the car all the time. It just happened that THAT time, the stars aligned and universes converged and the phone dunked into the drink.

3) I am hereby admitting I have a chap stick PROBLEM. I am addicted to C.O. Bigelow's SPF 15 Menth Lip Balm Stick. It's freakin' $7.50 a tube (!!) but I can't stop. It's ruined me for all other chap sticks. I keep one in my office, one in my purse, one in my living room, and I have two standing by in the bedroom for when one of the others runs out. That means I have $37.50 in chap stick at the moment. ---- that does NOT include the two tubes of C.O. Bigelow Mentha Lip Shine I also have (one in office, one in living room) or the two other chap sticks I bought while grocery shopping because I couldn't find mine and couldn't get through a shopping afternoon without SOMETHING.

4) Apparently, I have a weird obsession with my MOUTH because while I was looking through the house - counting all the damn chap stick - I came across a small jar of Nipple Nibblers in Mandarin Orange. I'd forgotten about that; I use it every night before bed. I got it at a Passion Party my sister held at my house a few years back. I have never ONCE used it on my nipples.

p.s. It's Super Yummy and TINGLY on your lips and Oh! My! does it make them soft.

5) Yesterday, I blamed my MONTHS-long lack of writing on the fact that everyone in this house have used up my sticky notes and without stickies... I simply CANNOT tap into my creative well. I told Mr. Clean (in a work email) that I was being psychologically maimed by their absence. He informed me that I was taking Drama to a whole new level and then brought home two new packages. I came up with FOUR new plot ideas before he'd changed out of his work clothes.

6) ... at which point, he proclaimed I was BATSHIT CRAZY. I asked him, how - after almost 18 years of marriage - was he JUST figuring that out?

7) I have another addiction I have to admit to... Lotion. There are... what do you call them? Large tubes? We'll go with that. There is one large tube in my office, one in my living room, one by the bed, and one waiting in the wings. Oh, and one in my purse. They are all vanilla scented (Bath & Body Works Warm Vanilla Sugar and Vanilla Bean Noel). Essentially, I float through life smelling like vanilla cookies with mint frosting. I am told this is NOT a bad thing.

8) I watched a whopping THIRTY-TWO minutes of the Super Bowl. I spent fifteen of those minutes criticizing the manner in which one of the Arizona running backs was catching the ball -- i.e. he was running LEFT and catching LEFT and therefore always landed twisty and facing AWAY from the end zone, right into one of the opposing team, who consistently drove him into the ground. It was an INEFFICIENT use of space. If he'd caught the ball to the RIGHT on both of those passes, he'd have had a clean shot to the end zone in HALF the amount of time. I don't really CARE either way... I'm just sayin'. It doesn't make sense.

9) I like to invent words and phrases - usually to replace my sailor's mouth (because I'm supposed to be this virtuous font of example for my children) but also just for fun. Some of my favorites are: Sweet Bleeding Jalepeno, Tragma (traj-ma) - as in tragic-drama, Fruitbat, and Shoffee (shopping with a coffee reward after).

Last night, while watching American Idol, I started to make a snide comment about Bikini Girl but since Doodlebug was right there with me, I didn't finish it (because it was NOT nice). He did, though.

Me: Ooooh that girl comes across as SUCH a ....
Him: A psychochondriac?

10) I LOVE that someone else in this family makes up words besides me.

11) Yes, it's because it makes me feel a little less alone in my crazy.

12) Doodlebug will turn ELEVEN years old in less than two weeks. He still believes in Santa. I have No Clue how it's managed to stick this long, except that he IS a child of my loins, and therefore inherited my penchant for not believing a thing unless it's proven unequivocally otherwise. Of course one would think we'd therefore need to prove Santa's existence. Not so, schmo-mo! Once Doodlebug believes something, you have to prove that it DOESN'T exist. I think I'll let him keep on keepin' on with this one.

13) I can't WAIT to see the new Friday the 13th movie. The original was always my favorite horror flick. Also? I first watched it when I was 13 years old.

14) After watching it, I became CONVINCED (see #12) if I ever made out with a boy in a dark cabin, I would DIE. To this day, I probably would NOT make out in a dark cabin (and certainly NOT after I go watch the re-make).

15) Every year I get older I find I am getting more girly and developing a serious affinity for the color Pink. It is WEIRD. It is SO weird, my sisters have NOTICED and they tease me about it. At this rate, I figure I'm going to be one of those little old ladies with pink hair who twitters and swoons any time a little old man looks my way.

16) I picked the name 'dragonfly' for this blog because any time I go outside, dragonflies flock and follow me everywhere I go. It's obvious enough that people notice. It's weird but in a cool way.

17) I have a tattoo of a thistle and a dragonfly on my ankle. I think I'd like to get another on the back of my shoulder but I can't decide what I want. Because I am indecisive. It took ten YEARS to figure out the one on my ankle. At this rate, I'll be in my forties before I get a second one.

18) In this day and age of Sugar-Free EVERYTHING, I can't... for the LIFE of me... figure out why Starbucks has YET to create Sugar-Free Frappuccinos (either in the bottle or the frozen ones at the shop). They would make a killing!! And then maybe they wouldn't have to close a bunch of locations. Both Stevia Root (Truvia, at the stores now) and Agave Nectar taste SO close to sugar, you won't even notice its absence. It makes me wonder just who's running the show around there...

19) I have not blogged so much lately because I am convinced my blog is now BORING, which irritates me, which makes me want to re-invent it, which seems like re-inventing the wheel, which flips my indecisiveness switch, which throws me straight into a fit of procrastination.

20) I watch a lot of TV. But only because Mr. Clean refuses to get TIVO. He claims we would need a whole new dish, etc., etc.. It's a GIANT clusterpuck because instead of having satellite in our living room and bedroom, the 2nd receiver is in HIS PARENTS' living room, which is next door. Essentially, they are FILCHING satellite from us and therefore I cannot get TIVO. This drives me CRAZY because, dude.... I. Want. The. TIVO. (Okay yes, it saves them money and they let us live with them the first year we were married and blah, blah, blah... I'm a freakin' saint. Who wants the damn TIVO.)

21) After watching the first episode of Trust Me, I decided that I should have gone into advertising. The mix of Crazy Stress and Creativity is SO right up my alley. Throughout the show, I like to point to an empty cubicle and announce, "There's my desk! Do you see it? Do you?" I'm now seriously considering going back to school.

Quick Digression: Dudes!! You MUST click on the Video > Sneak Peeks link on the left-hand side. Don't bother watching the video (or do, if that's what flips up your skirt). But on that page, in the upper-right-hand corner is a little button that says: "Boss Coming? DRAMATIC PAUSE". Click. It. Hilarious!

22) My favorite classes in High School were Marketing and English. I feel a bit stupid for finally figuring this out.

23) Okay, serious consideration OVER. I have NO IDEA where I'd find the time to go back to school. I mean, seriously? Unless someone out there knows how to stretch 24 hours into 30. Then I'd do it.

24) So WHAT if Michael Phelps took a hit off a bong?! Did anyone SEE how hard he worked to get to the Olympics - TWICE and then cleaned up while there? I'd be smoking a little hooch in my down-time too!!

25) I had fully planned on counting the number of times I applied chap stick to my lips and lotion to my hands while writing this post (which I did on paper first, and it took me two days). I lost count. It was that many times. It's almost OCD. ALMOST.

I'm tagging EVERYONE who reads this. Seriously! Go get a blog if you don't already have one. I want to read your stuff too dammit. :)





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  1. Dancinfairy Says:

    Dammit, I have already been tagged by this on Facebook and now here. Mind you, by the time I get home I am so tired that I cannot even think what to have for dinner and I go to bed by 9 every night. Why is pregnancy so exhausting?