Okay, yeah... as Cuz Denise so thoughtfully left a comment... I really need to get back to blogging. Though honestly? I've been laying low so to save you folks from The Whine. This is what happens when I miss Thanksgiving in Georgia, where we usually go -- the rest of the year just sort-of meanders aimlessly down the path to nowhere and I have NO CLUE where I'm at.

Don't get me wrong! Christmas was great! (though I was fighting The Lung Crud for all of it)

I'm just a little lost in my own world at the moment. Okay, maybe a LOT lost. I went for a walk yesterday and just as I was heading home, Mr. Clean called my cell, squawking, "Just where in the heck are you?"

"Umm, WALKING? Like I told you I would be when I left. What's the deal?"

"Are you EVER coming home," he asked.

Apparently, the deal was that I'd been out walking for almost 3 hours. I swear I thought I'd just been gone one, tops. I have no recollection of the walking itself, though I know it was a lot of uphill. My arse tells me so every time I get up or sit down... or really just walk in general.

New Year's went by with barely a whisper. I can't believe it's 2009 already. We had a very quiet night with friends and poker and booze and fire. --- I SWEAR I am not as redneck as that sounds. I'm not redneck AT ALL. Really.

Mr. Clean missed the New Year's kiss. Who wanders off to take out their contacts ONE MINUTE before midnight?? My husband, that's who. Doodlebug got the first kiss and C-Boy got the second. I'm not sure what that says about kicking off the new year. I'm not going to look too closely at it.

Then, after being badgered about resolutions (C-Boy), because I'd initially resolved NOT to make any... I finally settled for ONE: Finish something written this year. --- Of course now that I made the darn resolution, I feel PRESSURE, which I hate. 2009 - The Year For Neurosis!

I have slowly started writing in my journals again, here lately, and that's a good sign. After about September, I got so strung out and tied up with work, the writing had to be stuffed down inside for temporary hibernation. All the people in my head aren't quite awake yet but they're getting there... mostly still in the stretch-yawn-grumble-grumble-can-I-get-one-more-hour-of-sleep? stage.

OMG!! I do have ONE thing about the writing to mention... C-Boy and I went to see Twilight the other day (Fabulous! Fun! Can't wait for the 2nd one!) and while sitting there watching the previews, this one comes on... and I freeze. Then I start elbowing C-Boy, my mouth opening and closing like a dying fish. He asks, "Are you okay?!"

"Noooooooooo," I tell him, trying to keep my voice from hitting an operatic soprano that will shatter glass.

"What is WRONG with you?"

I point at the screen and whisper, "That's. My. Fucking. Plot!"

And it was. Not totally, but close enough that the last book I was working on... is TOAST. Watching Twilight made up for the disappointment (and raging anger) but seriously? SERIOUSLY? I swear.

Somehow I feel like it's karma. Or maybe a sign that I STILL haven't hit the genre I need to be hitting. I keep coming back to the first thing I worked on a few years back. And then I push it away. And then it comes back again. So that's what I'm starting with this year. That's what I'm going to finish.

But I'm still really, really peeved about that preview (though the movie itself looks like it will ROCK... which it will because, helloooo, MY PLOT).

Okay, I'm off to go be introverted and iPod laden on my front porch. All this introspection is a lead-up to writing. If only I can convince the rest of my family that this IS The Process. They keep asking if I'm okay. Yes! I'm fine! I'm pulling inward and THINKING! (because I finally have 2 seconds to myself)

They don't believe me. They think I'm dying or leaving or unhappy or God Knows What. I don't know which is more annoying --- that they won't trust that I'm fine when I say I'm fine or that it's been SO long since I've written, they've forgotten The Process. Sad, that.

I hope you all had a lovely time ringing in the New Year, and that it's a good year for you!! I'll be around more, I think. Introspection leads to blogging every time. LOL

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2 Responses
  1. Denise S. Says:

    It is not redneck to play poker on new years eve - we did it as well!!! Glad to see you are back to blogging - you need to do something for yourself, something you like, something to cheer you up. Hang in there cuz ! ! !

  2. babysis Says:

    What preview was it that you saw??
    Call me!