I woke up this morning, on time and filled with excitement. Woo hoo cold weather express on its way to meeeeee in Texas! What's not to like about that? (all you Texans who like it warm? I know it will not last. Hush and let me roll around in my fantasy land for a bit, 'kay?)

I bounded from bed, started a pot of coffee, flipped on the computer screen, and then pulled up the weather. "Thirty-one degrees?! That wasn't supposed to hit until 3 p.m.!"

-- See, anything below 36 degrees and I like to blanket The Diva (aka my horse). I'd planned on blanketing her this afternoon so Shaggy could give me an assist -- as she has not seen her blanket in two years. It never got cold enough for it last year.

I looked outside to find drizzling rain. So. I jumped up and down a few times while yelling, "Crap! Crap! Crap!" because I was going to have to go out in that cold drizzle and blanket The Diva. Alone. Before I'd had my coffee. But first, I had to let the skunky twins in the house (and, of course, their feet were muddy).

Skunky twins in, toweled off, and perfumed with Bath & Body Works Fresh Vanilla body spray (it actually worked, a bit)... I set out to blanket The Diva.

Looking on as an outsider, I would have seen a woman bringing a warmth-giving comfort blanket to her horse. What The Diva saw? A giant green blob monster coming to eat her with it's fuzzy quilted maw.

I saw more of her hind parts than anything else for about 20 minutes (in the meantime, my boobs froze clean off my body). I shook it, moved it, rubbed it on her, and basically followed her around the paddock - while she rolled her eyes like she was having rabid seizures and tried to kill it with her giant teeth.

Yes, it probably WOULD have been much easier had I grabbed a halter and leadrope first and tied her up. And I also might have had the chance to get squashed between the fence and her gargantuan 1200 lb. body while she went apeshit, too. (and she would have because while I buckled the back end, I looked down to find dried-out crusty spider carcasses stuck to my hand and, of course, screamed like the wussy girl I am. She really enjoyed that part, let me tell ya.)

I finally got her blanketed, between much protesting and teeth clacking. It's apparent that in the last few (ahem... many) months I have not had time to mess with her, her basic sense of manners has degenerated. To nil. She had a complete meltdown, rather like a two-year-old child at the peak of the Terrible Two's, when I shut the back gate so she couldn't go gallivanting out into the wooded six acres behind her paddock (and promptly get her blanket tangled in the tree limbs she likes to rub against).

She will be attending Dragonfly's Charm & Manners School for Wayward Horses after Christmas, for sure. It ought to be entertaining. She's going to be one very tired and hard-worked Diva. Until then, she'll be warm and she'll LIKE IT, dammit.

Anyone in the market for two almost brand new dressage saddles? This gal is going western in the Spring.

Couldn't leave out the Schatzinator. She's very unhappy that it's too cold for her dainty feet outside and that she has to share my office with the skunky boys. (and maybe that I shoved a camera in her face and woke her up, as well)
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