Remember those spider bites? Yeah. Not spider bites after all. Take it from me, folks, if you suddenly start showing up with little bites that look like maybe ants or spiders are snacking on you when you're not looking, and you can't find ANY signs of ants or spiders in your immediate vicinity, RUN to the doctor.
I didn't. Oh noooo. I made Mr. Clean bomb the house and check beneath the bed covers every night. I treated my little spidery-anty bites with hot epsom salt compresses and Neosporin (and they went away). Then I got a big one. And then it got bigger. And bigger.
Finally, I broke down and had Mr. Clean take me to the doctor... who immediately sent me to the hospital for a righteous staph infection!!
I've been to the ER a few times, when in labor with my boys and for two different ankle injuries (okay, make that three). Anyhow... point being: I have never been to the ER for any sort of injury, which required people to come at me with needles or scalpels or anything SHARP. I can now cross that little gem off my list of things to NEVER EVER EVER do again. They did unspeakable things to me, then stuck an IV in my arm. And just when I thought perhaps I might truly lose my shit... they gave me the good drugs.
I only remember one thing past that point... When the nurse (a HOT male nurse, btw, I Do remember that much) came by to remove my IV, my arm spurted a little blood. So I wigged out a bit. I'm not big on the blood gushing from my limbs, ya know? He turned to Mr. Clean, smiled as big as he possibly could and said, "Is she always this melodramatic?"
I sent him cookies.
So there's one reason I haven't been around. The antibiotics they gave me were, quoting my lovely pharmacist, "MONSTER doses which are going to kick your butt." They did. I pretty much slept and whimpered through Thanksgiving, getting up only to cook a turkey and a few pies.
Good things that came out of this experience:
- I can now recognize staph from a mile away
- I caught up on some much needed sleep and a few TV shows
- I didn't gain an OUNCE over Thanksgiving... as a matter of fact, I lost 10 lbs.
So. The reason I didn't end up blogging last night...
Shaggy came home late from work and when he pulled up in the driveway, we could hear him gagging and retching outside. Of course, we ran to the door to see what was wrong -- right about the time he came bursting through it himself. Bringing along a giant cloud of SKUNK fumes.
To hear him tell it... as he turned onto our private road, a skunk at the corner lifted its tail and sprayed his car. While he had his windows open. When asked WHY on earth he had his windows open in such cold weather, he replied, "It smelled good outside!"
Apparently not for long.
It occurred to me not long after he'd stripped in the living room and run for the shower, to ask, "Umm.. where exactly was the skunk coming from?"
Shaggy: "Oh, the yard!"
One nice thing about still being a bit laid up? I had all the excuses I needed to send Mr. Clean outside to inspect the dogs for skunkage. And ohhhh boy, did they have it - you could smell them as soon as he opened the door. Thank goodness I know a great recipe for de-skunking (having provided it twice in the last few weeks to CBoy, whose Great Dane has had a couple of run-ins - probably with the same damn beast).
Another good thing about having had staph:
- I didn't have to De-Skunk the dogs!
Of course, karma came to visit me today; a little payback for my schadenfreude... I found a grey eyelash. What the hell?
Glad to see you back! And OMG, I'm glad you are feeling much better! Those super bugs are nasty.