Most days, I'm just happy to be on the planet. I'm optimistic to a fault and truly think that each day will reveal something spectacular, even if the packaging is a bit raw still.
Today was not one of those days.
IT: I'm sorry, there wasn't anything we could do to save her.
Me: But.. but... she CAN'T be gone. She just CAN'T! What will I do? How will I get through the holidays? Oh. My. God. The holidays! I can't function without her.
IT: I'm sorry?
Me: Sorry? You're sorry? Don't you understand anything? I'm DOOMED! I will DIE without her.
IT (backing up slowly): You could get a new one?
Me (choking): A. New. One? Are you kidding me?
IT (hands in the air): We saved most of her, I think.
Me (advancing menacingly): Ohhhhh... what'd you lose?
IT (looking for a place to hide): Well....
Me (collapsing in a heap of kindergarten tantrum): Nooo, not that!
IT: We could give you a loaner?
The bad news: My hard drive took a nose dive and my little laptop is a goner.
And If that wasn't enough:
Today was not one of those days.
IT: I'm sorry, there wasn't anything we could do to save her.
Me: But.. but... she CAN'T be gone. She just CAN'T! What will I do? How will I get through the holidays? Oh. My. God. The holidays! I can't function without her.
IT: I'm sorry?
Me: Sorry? You're sorry? Don't you understand anything? I'm DOOMED! I will DIE without her.
IT (backing up slowly): You could get a new one?
Me (choking): A. New. One? Are you kidding me?
IT (hands in the air): We saved most of her, I think.
Me (advancing menacingly): Ohhhhh... what'd you lose?
IT (looking for a place to hide): Well....
Me (collapsing in a heap of kindergarten tantrum): Nooo, not that!
IT: We could give you a loaner?
The bad news: My hard drive took a nose dive and my little laptop is a goner.
And If that wasn't enough:
- I have an "illness." I don't know what it is but I can't breath, drainage is having a 24/7 rave between my eyeballs, and I randomly lose my voice, usually after coughing so hard I think I might pass out. (and it's actually BETTER today)
- At all other times, I am giddy and appear to be on really good happy drugs.
- It's confirmed (third time is the charm) -- Day-Quil, Espresso, and me do not mix well chemically. The effects are rather like... Well, I might as well have just sucked on a bong and called it a day.
- Today, I had to go into the office to do voice recordings for all the office holiday messages. While on my giddy pot-like mixture of drugs and coffee. And sounding like death warmed over.
- When I put on my headset to do the recordings, it emitted a burst of feedback that scrambled my brain and caused the building to explode.
- I could not make it stop.
- All of my co-workers peered out from the rubble to find out what the heck was happening.
- And then the microphone shocked me. So I screeched. And they laughed.
- Because it sounded like a frog screeching (so says Mr. Clean).
- They will not be getting ANY Christmas goodies.
- I finally got it to work but all the recorded messages sound like I'm under water. And drunk. And impersonating a bird. That warbles (under water, while drunk).
- So now I have to go back tomorrow (still sick, still randomly losing my voice) and try again.
- After I bury my laptop. Or possibly just order a new hard drive.
- And get the loaner (which will so not be like my baby).
The good news: Heh. I actually "listened" to my computer for once and made a backup of my iTunes library the other day, so it's not really gone. My poor IT guys will be so relieved that I'm not actually going to bring an ax with me to work tomorrow.
And I'll still probably bake them a batch of brownies since they stayed hours late while trying to save my baby. And because they'll install the new hard drive and make it seem like nothing ever, ever happened. Neither of which they are required to do as it's my personal laptop and not owned by work. I love my IT guys. They ROCK.
