F is for…

Fuck – one of my all-time favorite words, ever. I once told a friend of mine: “I love the word, Fuck. I think it’s a great word. Better than monkey. Or butts. Or monkey butts. It’s one of the most perfectly decadent words, ever, and contains such wonderful connotations when used in the right moments. Whispered naughtily in one's ear and chills up the spine will commence in anticipation. Used in the heat of an argument, the ferociousness of emotion is instantly presented. It contains raw heat, sex, annoyance, frustration, anger, and decimation.... all in a single word. What’s not to love about it?” If I'm honest, I also love the shock factor of it - although I can't figure out why some are so shocked by it. It's a WORD. Nothing more, nothing less.

Fruit Bat - the word I use when I can’t say Fuck. My kids think the funniest thing on earth is when I say, “Where’s the Fruit Bat?” (instead of WTF!)

Forgiveness – something I need to work on. I’m not a very forgiving person. I want to be. I don’t go so far as to hold endless grudges. I’m not like that. BUT. I find forgiveness seems to meld with trust for me and regaining my trust, once broken, is often as difficult as finding hot water in Antarctica.

Frappuccino – Yum!

Fromage – I just love the way it sounds on my tongue.

Fear – Everyone has their own. My biggest fear is of falling. I cling to the inside of cars when driving (err, riding. If I’m actually driving, I’m clinging to the steering wheel) on very high, curving overpasses. I’m absolutely sure – Every. Time. – that someone is going to rear-end us or we’ll have a blow out and then we’ll go plummeting over the side to end up smooshed on the pavement below. Bridges… dear dog, I hate some of them (not all – depends on if I can see over the rail or not). There’s a new bridge in France (?) that looks like it’s floating in the clouds. You’d have to offer me a butt load of money to get me on it. There’s a walking bridge in the Grand Canyon now (or soon to be). It’s glass bottomed and hangs out over the canyon. You couldn’t pay me ANYTHING to go on that thing (unless I could wear and safety harness AND crawl).

Feel – I’m a touchy-feely person in so many ways BUT I have an immense dislike that flares outward in a big mushroomy cloud type of way when people Indiscriminately touch me. You know, like when they grab your elbow or hand and pull you along in their wake? I had a very difficult time in Middle and High School because all my girlfriends loved doing that… and I. Hated. It. That being said – I love being hugged and cuddled (although my Mother would tell you that’s so not true and that, as a child, I disliked anyone who wanted to hug and cuddle me).

Feelings – I get my feelings hurt very easily. I take many completely innocuous things personally. I’ve always been like this. Shaggy is like this, too. I have concluded that this must be First Child Syndrome of some sort or another. Every other “first child” I know is like this. And the worst part is that I recognize it. And I think it sucks. Yet, STILL, I tend to get all scrunch-faced and teary-eyed when I interpret things as a personal affront.

Fly – I wish I could fly. If I could fly, I’d probably never come back down to the ground.

Flirt – I flirt constantly, sometimes without even realizing I’m doing it. It’s like an affliction, except I enjoy it. I love flirting. It’s completely harmless as long as it stays just that. Some folks can’t handle innocent flirting. I think that’s kind of sad in a way.

Flip-Flop – my shoe of choice if barefoot is out of the question. I wear flip-flops to cook. It’s a weird little thing I do. If I’m going to be in the kitchen for hours, my heels tend to get sore because I rock back on them (I have no clue why). So. I wear flip-flops and my feet feel great while I toil and boil.

Foible – another cool word. I have quite a few of these. I’m not going to out them here. They’re for me to know and you to find out. (now there’s a phrase I haven’t heard since childhood!)

Forms – I hate forms with a giant flaming red passion. I especially despise the forms parents have to fill out at the beginning of the school year (which is about to hit here). Seriously. Do you REALLY need me to fill out 10 stinking forms with the same contact information? Twice?! (one set for each child) One form isn’t enough? And why don’t they ADD a space for your cell phone number? Try writing your home, two business lines, two cell phone numbers, and an emergency contact in three little spaces…. Ten Times Over. And then don’t forget to mention that it’s easier to get you via your email (except there’s no space for that).

Fruit – I love fruit, until I don’t. I’ll crave strawberries but then, after eating a bowl of them, I don’t want to see them again for months. I despise fresh blueberries, raspberries, mango, and cantaloupe. I’m allergic to bananas. Blackberries I’ll eat only in a cobbler. Same with peaches (although my Mom does a mean homemade peach ice cream). Apples are boring. Oranges… Meh. Watermelon – good for once a year. Limes in ice-cold Corona – yum! I do like cherries. The only fruits I can eat almost consistently, without tiring of them, are pineapple and pears.

Favorites – I can never fill out those MeMe’s that want you to list your favorites. I can’t ever pick a top three or a top five. Sometimes, if I try real hard, I can do a top ten. There’s just too many to choose from!

Forget – I have a memory like an elephant… for stupid, useless facts and random moments in my past. Example – I remember the song, Jump (by Van Halen), playing on the stereo when I had my first kiss. I was wearing a white sweater with three lavender stripes across the chest. It made my boobs look big. I also had on my girlfriend’s Gloria Vanderbilt jeans that I had to use a clothes hanger to get zipped and white fabric Candies on my feet. We were standing just off the far right corner of the back deck, behind a gardenia bush. How useless is that? I even remember complete conversations from ten years ago. My best friend’s first phone number (from 2nd grade). BUT. Remember a birthday? Forget it. Remember what I’m supposed to do today? Tomorrow? Next week? Not without a detailed list.

Friend – I’m not one of those people who have an entire phone book full of friends. I tend to keep my circle small, intimate, and very, very Real. Those people I count as friends know pretty much everything there is to know about me. Only one of them is female. I have only a couple of online friends – one dating back quite a while (Hey German Girl!), who I’d like to meet one of these days. Soon, dammit! *grin*

I think I make a good friend in some areas, not so great in other. I’m the one who will get up at 2:00 a.m. and drive over with coffee and chocolate when a friend is in need. “Any Time” is my motto. That being said… I suck at returning phone calls. Or picking up the phone, for that matter. Course, I tend to surround myself with people who are the same way. Heh.

Faeries – Yes, I believe. Maybe not in a convoluted way… but in a small hidden-behind-the-bushes way. Brian Froud is the god of Faeries. I love his books.

Freak – a word I use semi-often. I’m not afraid to fly my freak flag. Also… Superfreak by Rick James – a song that brings back loads of memories.

Frou-Frou – something I am NOT and never will be.

Flagrante delicto – I get caught red-handed A LOT. Heh. Heh. Always have my hand in one cookie jar or another.

Floccinaucinihilipilification – one heck of a long word meaning “estimating something as worthless” (why not just say, “It’s worthless”?)

Fussbudget – Me. And such a neat word!

Fuscia – Meh. Don’t care for pinks all that much although it’s hard to tell in my yard, what with its two pink crepe myrtle trees and pink roses everywhere.

Flower – My favorite flowers are apricot colored roses called “Brandy”. Also, Jasmine and Honeysuckle.

Friction – I thrive on friction… of all sorts.

Fractious – The note the vet put on Schatzi the psycho cat’s file, in Big Black Permanent Marker. I can’t say much. I tend to be fractious myself at times.

Frost – I run around barefoot in each year’s first frost, screaming, “Yippeeeee COLD WEATHER!” I’m a nut.

Fall – my second favorite season of the year (with Winter being the first). Fall means crisp air, leaves floating to the ground, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Texas Renaissance Festival. I know y’all have festivals where you live too but if you haven’t been to TRF, you’re missing out. No one parties like Texans in costume. *laughing*

French Fries – How can something so bad for you taste so damn good? It’s been ages since I have eaten McDonald’s fries… Sad.

France – Never been. Love the French Country look for kitchens and the Fleur de Lis symbol.

Fleur de Lis – one of the first songs I mastered on the piano. I’m WAY out of practice now (years later) but I can still play the opening.

Funky – I like funky things.

Follow – I’m not a follower. I tend to be the person out front, not caring what everyone else is doing or saying.

Frenetic – the pace this week. It’s driving me nuts.
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2 Responses
  1. Deb R Says:

    Excellent F-list!!

    And interesting theory on Feelings. I'm also an Oldest Child who tends to take things way too personally, despite years of trying not to. Hhhmmm....

  2. dragonfly Says:

    What's sad is that I routinely "raz" people but, unfortunately, when they return the favor... I sometimes take it personally. My Dad used to tell me he wasn't going to joke with me any more (as a child) b/c I'd cry all the time. LOL I have yet to meet a 1st child who's not like this.