Name 3 things that you think are strange.
1) People who act Way outside their normal personalities for no apparent reason.
2) My spawnlings – I often refer to them as “strange birds”. Doodlebug corrects me, saying, “I’m not a strange bird, Mommmm. I’m a strange Doodlebug!”
3) The weather in Texas. I’ve lived her all my 33 years and have finally given up hope. I’ll never get used to it.

What was the last ceremony you attended?
Wow. I guess it was a wedding a few years back. I’m not big on ceremonies – unless you count the “Come to Jesus” meetings I have with my spawnlings on occasion. They are pretty ceremonious.

What is one lesson you have learned in the past year?
That blunt honesty is not always the best policy. Sometimes, no matter how twitchy you get with the wanting and needing … no matter how badly it steams the backs of your eyeballs… or how badly it tweaks your butt… it’s better to just suck it up, shut your mouth, and not say a word. Why? Because they can’t handle the truth.

Main Course
Tell us about one of your childhood memories.
As a young teen, I lived in a neighborhood with wide open spaces. After school each day, three of my friends and I would ride horses – usually on trails in the woods or down by the creek. But. If one of us had a crush on someone in the neighborhood – or one close enough to ride to - we’d spend the afternoon riding back and forth (trying not to be Too obvious) in the hopes our crush would see us and, of course, fall instantly in hot pink passionate love, because – hellooo – Cute Girls! On Horses! (sometimes in bathing suits!) What boy could possibly resist?

Amazingly, quite a few. That’s when I learned that boys are chicken shits and can’t handle aggressive girls. Also? Most of them are scared of horses. Put aggressive girls on big rowdy horses? Yeah. It never worked.

If you could extend any of the four seasons to be twice as long as normal, which season would you want to lengthen?

Oh, this is so easy – and anyone that knows me is laughing right now. Winter. Winter. Winter! Please give me more winter. Yes, I know you folks up north get more snow than you could possibly wish to see. Ever. But down here? Geez. Two Christmas Eve’s ago, around 9pm, we started getting phone calls from friends and family telling us how they were getting snow flurries. We looked around outside. Nothing. We actually threw the spawnlings in the truck and headed down (we’re North of everyone) to the next town in the hopes of catching it. We got there about 5 minutes too late. You could see it on the cars and on the sides of the road, but nothing in the air. The next week, everyone I know sent me pictures of the snow we missed. It even snowed down at the beach (2 hours south of us). The Beach!! So, yes, if I can’t have snow - I want a double Winter.

I love the cold. I love the way the air smells crisp and fresh and the sound the dormant trees make in the wind. I have awesome hair in the winter (poodle frizz in the summer thanks to natural curls). I love freezing my butt off on long walks in the woods, listening as my feet make swoosh-swoosh sounds in the dry leaves. And making out in the winter? So much better than in 90 degrees and 90% humidity!

I know. I still owe a post about Teens and AirSoft guns. It’s coming soon. Really!
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