BabySis is back home now and sporting a collection of Absinthe she apparently smuggled home in her luggage. Or at least I think she smuggled it home? I seem to recall something about the real Absinthe being illegal here? If any Customs agents are reading this, REALLY... from what I hear they are LITTLE BITTY bottles. Nothing to concern yourselves with, I'm sure. Run along now and find someone hoarding a thousand pounds of pot.
Back to the Absinthe... My BabySis has this WILD idea that she's going to bring those bottles over here and I'm going to drink them with her.
Umm... I'm not.
I'm ever so slightly tempted to... but I'm not going to do it and I'll tell you why --- it's a CONTROL thing. Yes, I WAS a wild hellion growing up and I drank and smoked (and not all of it tobacco) BUT I never did a single thing other than that because I just cannot FATHOM the idea of being under the control of anything other than my own pink brain matter. <--- run on, and I don't care because my tummy is upset so I am a wee bit on the cranky side at the moment.
Anyhow. I'm sure I'll be getting a phone call after she reads this. [Sorry kiddo... I'm sure CBoy would be more than happy to join in your green fairy fun. Maybe? Just not me. If I see a green fairy right about now... I'm liable to run naked and screaming down our country road and THEN what would the neighbors think? I'll be happy to video tape YOU trippin' the rift, though!]
Of course, I know that NONE of this is what you're waiting to hear about. YOU are waiting to hear about one Sexy Eastern European who works at a castle. Want to know a secret?
SO. AM. I.
This is what I got on Thursday, September 11th:
YES, that is EXACTLY what you think it is. And the below selection came with EXPLANATIONS (necessary, as you can see).
Okay, is it just me or do all of those look like some freaky fandangled version of door knobs or fishing reels? I can't quite wrap my head around those... but then I guess that's sort of the point, one's head NOT being the location they are intended for. Heh.
Of course, directly after receiving those pictures I found myself in a rush to clear out my house and hunker down at Wahoo's before Hurricane Ike hit.
And right in the middle of all THAT drama? I get the following text message: "The castle in Slovenia is 17 HOURS away. Not 4." I may have uttered a few choice words and then, while watching tree tops impersonate ballerinas doing Swan Lake, I texted back: "WTF?" ...and promptly lost phone service entirely.
Now. Under NORMAL circumstances... say, NOT in the middle of a hurricane, I would have texted PARAGRAPHS of reasons why I did not CARE that it turns out Google Maps is on crack and the castle was, in reality, 17 hours away.
Because I am a pain. And bossy. And the eldest, so I get to tell my younger sisters what to do and they are SUPPOSED to listen.
AND because I am STILL convinced it is IMPERATIVE my baby sister meet this guy. (yes, it still sounds strange to me too, but I can't help it) I WOULD have texted that she needed to get her blessed little arse on that train and ride those 17 hours or... I don't know... buy a flippin' plane ticket or something. Seriously? How expensive could that have been over there? I'm talking FATE stuff here, y'all. You can't put a price tag on that!
ALAS, I WAS in the middle of a hurricane and concerned with things like the roof falling in under a cascade of Loblolly Pine trees and my phone was pretty much useless, so I didn't push her. I wish I had NOW.
Digression: If I'm convinced she has to meet this guy as some intricate and freaky tiny thread of overall Fate and she gets there only to find out it's too far (it wasn't... pssssbbbt)... does that mean Ole Miss Fate stepped in and trumped me or was BabySis being an eedjit? Or was BabySis' being an eedjit the actuality of Ole Miss Fate stepping in? ---- Hmmm... that one might take me a bit to consider. It's making my head hurt just now. Digression over.
So, no. She did NOT go to the castle and she did NOT meet said Sexy Eastern European castle guy. And I am SORELY disappointed. Because my BabySis went all the way to Prague and all I got were some damn S*X MACHINE PICTURES.
And also these:
You can click to make those bigger but they will still be BONES. I'm a little creeped out by the little angel playing music to a SKULL on that chandelier. Okay, more than a little. It looks like a creepy baby head being serenaded by another creepy baby head. I think this is where Tim Burton gets all his ideas.
And something else I think? This last picture, of a quote on the wall of a Starbucksesque coffee shop, is somehow VERY ironic.
All that being said, BabySis ASSURES me she is planning another trip JUST for that Sexy Eastern European castle guy. Hummph. He'll probably be married by then.
Oh dear....having defied Fate what (oh what? Tell me please!) is going to happen to the world now. Is it possible her defiance will have catastrophic consequences on the future of mankind? I hear the Fates tend to get a bit testy when a person doesn't listen.....
Dude... that's what I'm sayin'. No one listens to me (no one being my sisters). If I were an "I told you so" person and I got paid for saying it, I'd be FILTHY RICH. Heh.
The world is certainly tilted on its axis now. I hear Mercury is in Retrograde. Again. Joy.
(if you're reading this... Love ya, sis! I don't blame you for Mercury at all.)
hello,
ive just been to the bone church. it was cool. i didnt go to the other place....
monkey typist (I love that by the way)... I hear you missed something Really Special. The macabre half of me really wants to see the bone church. The weenie half is worried about how many ghosts might be hanging around the place. *grin*