I get SO distracted, y’all! It’s like living in a world full of bright, shiny objects… and then I overload, crash… CAPUT. I’m down for the count all twitchy and discombobulated, the computer the last thing I want to even look at.

Well there’s that and the fact that Mr. Clean got all sneaky-peeky and found a new game (Acropolis), which I’d downloaded to play. I could NOT get the man off my computer all weekend long. Seriously. I had to crawl up on the desk in front of him, blocking his view, just to get him to come to bed every night!

Lots of little things today --- things I’m catching up on, tidbits, fragments, tiny morsels of my brain-matter:

1) I don’t know exactly when but Deb asked me about Tivo not too long ago and I’m not sure I ever answered about that. See… I want Tivo. I REALLY want Tivo. I have Dreams about Tivo. BUT. I live in the country and my in-laws have a house on our land, and they’re retired. So when we hooked up the satellite, we sort-of, kind-of CHEATED and ran the line that should be in our bedroom to their house instead. Mr. Clean also CLAIMS he talked to the sat company and came back with all this bruha about how we’d have to get an upgraded dish and blah, blah, blah… trouble, trouble, money, etc.

I don’t exactly know if I believe him (because sometimes he comes up with STORIES instead of outright saying, “I don’t want to add anything to our current satellite bill.” Then again, I mention it CONSTANTLY… to the point that if he could get it out here, he probably would, if just to Shut Me Up. So there’s that. No Tivo. Yet. Bummer, yes?

2) I may have mentioned previously that I have this cat, who is psychotic. She eats people. Really. She loves on strangers’ legs and then when they reach down to pet her, she eats their hands off. We really need a sign on our front door, stating, “Do not pet the cat. No matter how cute she tries to look. She is not cute. She is psycho. Also? She is HUNGRY and on a diet so human flesh looks really, really good to her!”

This is a Take-No-Bullshit-From-Anyone cat, seriously, not a feline to mess with. She holds grudges, stalks people for months until she’s convinced they are suitably chastised for… choose one or more or all: making faces at her, making noises at her, messing with her after being told not to, and just generally getting in her way.

Therefore, imagine my surprise when I looked outside to see her lying in the sun with not one but TWO Mockingbirds dive-bombing her. And what was she doing in response (as they were most definitely making contact)?? Not a DAMN thing. She just lay there… didn’t even look at them.

Conclusion: She is either a seriously deranged masochist on top of being psychotically inclined or she is plotting something decidedly nefarious for those little birds’ futures.

In the meantime, I’m trying to catch it all on video, because it happens DAILY now.

3) I will go out and buy that cat a freaking TIARA and plush, plush super-cat apartment if she will please KILL one ore both of those Mockingbirds. I am not normally a violent person and I LOVE nature but y’all…. I want these birds DEAD, DEAD, DEAD.

For an entire WEEK now, I have had to use earplugs at night because one or both of them are sitting just outside my bedroom window, chirping -- in fifty different bird languages, one after another, after another, after another… then REPEAT – All. Freaking. Night. Long!

Even better? One of their little birdie interpretations is a high-pitched whistle that’s repeated at a higher pitch, and then a higher one, and then one that breaks glass, makes my eyeballs pop out, and generally Melts My Brain. It seems to be their favorite sound.

And if Schatzi-cat doesn’t kill them SOON? I am buying a BB gun. They are seriously screwing with my sleep – not to mention the fact that I cannot hear my alarm while using earplugs in so I’ve woken up late every single day since they started their weeklong 11pm – 6am Concerto of Infuriation. The birds must go away or DIE.

P.s. I suspect that it’s very possible this is the cat’s entire fault; that the birds have taken up residence with their noise pollution in order to call her out due to her inconsiderate lack of reaction to their physical pestering. The moment I get any further inkling that this COULD be true, she’s outta the house until they are Gone, Gone, Gone.

4) I spent almost the entire day, Saturday, PLOTTING a new book. BabySis came out to the house for the weekend, went and ate tacos with me, and then sat at the coffee shop for three hours while I tried to make my way through the tangled web of possible plotlines. And in case I don’t say it enough: My BabySis ROCKS. She’s an absolutely fantastic bouncy board of feedback – because I plot much better out loud than in the disorganized MESS that is my brain. Now, while I readily admit this development is not great for keeping up with the blogging… it is BLESSEDLY good for my mental sanity me.

Also? That’s probably all you’re really going to hear about it until I have something substantial because it seems the more I talk about writing, the less writing I actually get done.

5) I had a #5. I know I had one more item. I don’t know what happened to it. C-Boy just came by and dinner had to be cooked and... surprise! I got distracted. It’s gone now.

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1 Response
  1. Deb R Says:

    I'm tellin' ya, GET THE TIVO. Upgraded dish, switched lines, bigger bill, whatever, GET THE TIVO. SO worth it. After one week you will not understand how you ever watched TV without it. Seriously.